Monday, July 11, 2011

Why is it "bad" that my husband works in a restaurant?

So, my "wonderful" extended family is having a BBQ for the 4th, and everyone is invited! Except for me and my husband, of course. When it's JUST family, we are always invited, but when people outside the family are present (people to impress!), we are not included in a vary blatant way. My family fits the bill of "affluent conservative republicans" to a T. I am the little, unspoken "black mark" on my family tree because I grew up and married someone I loved, not for the money. The very same reason my parents were outcasts for many many years (my dad married a woman who wanted to be a housewife instead of a lawyer! Gasp!). The whole issue is about the fact my husband is happy working in a restaurant, and I'm happy working retail part time. It would be generous to say we earn half of what the next lowest earning member of my family does combined, yet somehow, were the only one of my "generation" (my cousins and second cousins) who have never had to ask for monetary help. We don't have 3 brand new Mercedes in the driveway, but we've also never carried debt, have an actual savings account, and actually have time to spend together after work and on weekends. We budget our money well, and while we don't have luxuries like tv, we do save on our gym memberships by taking hikes and going camping all the time (much better than any tv in my opinion). Our jobs are low stress, and we leave work where it belongs- at work! We live simply, and that's how we like it. We are adults, taking care of ourselves just fine, I just don't understand why we are so embarrassing. My cousin and his wife spent so frivolously after getting married, they went from a few thousand in student loan debts to the verge of declaring bankruptcy in 3 years. One cousin works for a big law firm, and I wouldn't be shocked if he's doing something a little more than unethical to advance as fast as he has past more qualified people (he couldn't even pass the bar!). My husband gets the brunt of the negativity, since he is the man of the house. He's not selling crack to kids, he works a honest, normal job. My family has done many shameful things over many generations, I don't think the guy who is hard working and tries his best to always do the right thing is the problem here. It just makes me so angry we can't be seen by their friends. .I'm tired of their bulls***, and I'm thinking this really is the final straw, and we will probably just cut contact with them. This has been going on for years, and I'm just so fed up. I mean, what would you do with a family like this? It's not my parents, it's my aunts and uncles and cousins. Over my entire life, none of us have ever really gotten along anyways, I just don't see any point in talking to these people anymore. My moms side is very close, and not part of the problem, but my dads side, I just don't care about. What would you do?

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